Thankful for the Strength it Gave You

By: Justin Worden

Lately, it feels like I am a magnet for overly unfortunate issues. Why does the universe hate me? It seems to almost always start with “Dad.”

“Dad, the dryer is broken.” “Dad, I ripped the lid open on the brand-new dishwasher.” “Dad, the sink is leaking water everywhere.” “Justin, the car won’t accelerate.” “Dad, someone at summer camp destroyed my glasses.”

I know what you’re thinking. How does this man have any hair left? Let me assure you, I sometimes wonder the same thing. All these issues happened to me this month. If this were three years ago, I would have firmly believed that I had the worst luck ever and that the universe hated me. But my outlook on life changed on April 1st, 2020.

April Fools used to be one of my favorite holidays (as I enjoy being a prankster), but on this day, my life and my mindset were rocked. Sara was pregnant with our little one and going in for a checkup. I remember it like it was yesterday. I couldn’t go because of covid protocol and was super bummed. This was the appointment I had been waiting for! Today was the day that we would find out if baby Worden was a boy or a girl. I was so excited to find out, but little did I know it was about to change.

I will never forget the sound in Sara’s voice when she called me. I was expecting to hear “it’s a boy,” but instead, I heard “he is gone.” At this moment, all my emotions exploded at once. Weirdly the first to come out was excitement. I heard the word HE!!!!! Finally, a son! I had been hoping and praying for a son for so long! But then it was quickly crushed as reality set in, and I heard Sara sobbing on the other end of the phone.

Sadness started trying to come through but was quickly run over with anger. I was so angry at the hospitals and their protocol. I couldn’t be there for my wife when she needed me the most. I remember thinking, “this can’t be real; this is a joke, right?” I couldn’t think straight. Nothing in that moment felt real. I felt helpless and alone and couldn’t imagine how Sara felt. This very moment was one of two moments in life where I was genuinely angry at God. This anger grew even stronger when we had to deliver GusGus. As I looked at him, all I could think was, “what did he do to deserve this?” He was innocent and had done nothing wrong. I would have given anything to trade places with him.

Then came the healing process. I am scared to think of where I would be if I hadn’t left my former job of 15 years to come to Nussbaum. This was the deepest, darkest point of my life. Everything truly does have a reason. I firmly believe that God knew this would happen and made sure I was in a good place to fight through this trial. The support and love I got from everyone here at work meant the world to me. It gave me the strength to push through and forgive. Although Gus Gus is not here on earth, he is forever in my heart. Through this, I have learned that the universe does not hate me. I now try not to complain or freak out over minor issues, like when something breaks or does not go in my favor. If something happens, I try to take a moment, pause and think of all the good that surrounds me. “Be thankful for your blessings and never doubt your struggles. Don’t ask why it happened; just be thankful for the strength it gave you.” – Anonymous.

Fly high, GusGus