PRESENCE OVER PRODUCTIVITY

By: Jared Rauh, UX/UI Design Manager

Not too long ago, I found myself lying in a hospital bed with my parents standing beside me. My wife was on a plane trying to get home. On the whiteboard near my bed were the words “Possible Stroke.” I stared at it for a moment before turning to my dad.

“Wait… did I have a stroke?” I asked.

As soon as the words left my mouth, another question hit me.

“Did I already ask you that?”

My dad paused. With tears in his eyes, he said, “Yes… maybe about 40 times now.”

I was stunned. What was happening to me? Why couldn’t I remember anything?

I was experiencing what we now know was an episode of Transient Global Amnesia, a rare condition that temporarily prevents the brain from forming new memories. I could hold a conversation for a minute, but seconds later, would forget it had happened.

Over the next few days, my short-term memory slowly returned. I began remembering conversations from earlier in the day, and eventually, I could recall events from the days leading up to the hospital visit.

As the fog cleared, doctors began talking about what might have triggered the episode. The answer surprised me a little. And honestly… it frustrated me a little too.

Stress.

I’ve always thought of myself as someone who handles stress fairly well. I stay organized. I plan ahead. I try not to let the little things get to me. As I reflected on the months before that day, I realized I had struggled to manage stress in my life, not just in one area, but seemingly everywhere (and doing a pretty poor job at that).

There were major organizational changes happening at my previous place of employment. I had overloaded my commitments. My 2-year-old was struggling through potty training. My sleep habits were completely thrown off.

None of it felt impossible to overcome on its own, but stacked together, it created a constant background noise in my mind.

Looking back, that experience forced me to reflect on the pace and priorities of my life. I came away with a few lessons that I’m still trying to live out today.

1. Every day is a gift.

When you suddenly find yourself unable to remember the last few minutes, it changes how you think about time.

Lying in that hospital bed reminded me how fragile life really is. I often assume what tomorrow may bring. I plan for the next week, the next month, the next year.

But the truth is simpler: every day is a gift.

Scripture reminds us that our days are not something we control (Prov. 27:1). That experience helped reset my perspective and reminded me to cherish and appreciate the people God has placed in my life.

2. Being present is often better than productivity.

For a long time, my response to the greeting “How are you?” has simply been “Busy”. Busy at work. Busy at home. Busy trying to keep up.

Busyness has a way of feeling productive, whereas slowing down can feel irresponsible, even when we’re exhausted. Over time, I began to believe the best thing I could do was simply stay busy. Take on that next initiative, start that next house project, stay up another hour later.

None of those things were bad in and of themselves. Many of them were good.

But sometimes it isn’t a choice between good and bad.

Sometimes the real tension is choosing between good and better.

My pastor recently preached about the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10. Jesus is visiting their home, and Martha is busy preparing and serving. Mary, meanwhile, sits at Jesus’ feet, listening to him teach.

Frustrated, Martha asks Jesus to tell Mary to help.

Instead, Jesus responds:

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41–42)

Martha wasn’t doing something wrong. The work needed to be done.

But Mary recognized something more important was happening in that moment, and she chose presence over productivity.

That scripture has taken on new meaning for me. It’s a reminder that the goal isn’t simply to fill our time with activity, or hustle harder, but to prioritize the things that truly matter.

3. Don’t carry burdens that belong to God.

Another thing I realized after that hospital visit was how many burdens I had slowly placed onto my own shoulders.

I need to lead my team at work.

I need to follow through on my commitments.

I need to handle everything happening at home.

Individually, those responsibilities are normal parts of life. But somewhere along the way, I had begun carrying them as if everything depended on me.

I had memorized Philippians 4:6 at a young age,

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Yet for too long, I had done little to put that into action. Instead of bringing my worries to God, I tried to manage them myself. Instead of trusting Him with the unknowns, I carried the weight of them.

Today, I try to remind myself of a simple truth: there are things I can control, and there are many things I cannot. It’s easy in our world to become anxious about tomorrow. Current events, rapid changes in technology, and uncertainty about the future can easily pull our attention toward fear. But acknowledging uncertainty doesn’t mean we have to carry it. When I start feeling overwhelmed, I try to return to what I can control today and trust the rest to the One who holds tomorrow.

That experience in the hospital didn’t remove stress from my life. But it did reset my perspective.

Life is a gift.

Presence matters.

And the burdens I carry were never meant to be carried alone.

I’m still learning what it looks like to slow down, to be present, and to trust God more fully with the things outside my control. And more often now, I try to pause and ask myself a simple question:

Am I choosing what is good… or what is better?